“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”- Aristotle

Coming under scrutiny and being criticized can cause a lot of stress. Most people don’t volunteer to be criticized unless they know they can trust the person delivering the information. That being said, there are times when criticism comes with or without consent.

As a general rule, people do not like being criticized. In fact, most people hate it. It ranks up there with public speaking on the list of things people want to avoid. Why is it that people are so averse to criticism? Here’s the top three reasons people hate being criticized.

Reason #1.Our brains get in the way. Our brains are made up of the thinking brain and the emotional brain. Criticism tends to affect the emotional brain most. The emotional brain is where the past is stored. This is where the individual experiences we’ve had with criticism in the past live. That means your personal experiences with criticism come back to life every time your emotional brain overrides the thinking brain. This makes it harder to be rational and stay calm. The emotional reaction can be intense, and most people want to avoid this feeling at all costs.

Reason #2.Rejection feels personal. Many people feel personally rejected when they hear criticism. The go-to reaction to criticism is what’s wrong with me? Rather than evaluating the situation to be sure there is, in fact, something wrong. There are a lot of reasons that people get critical feedback; some are valid, and some are not. Nonetheless, the automatic reaction is usually self-doubt, guilt, and shame. All of which, people want to avoid at all costs.

Reason #3.They don’t know what to do.Hearing negative feedback can trigger a fight or flight response. Hearing something negative can leave you feeling like you’ve got to do something… or stop doing it. Somehow, criticism creates the need for action. Most of the time, it isn’t quite clear what needs to be done. This can make the sting even harder. People hate hearing criticism because they don’t always know what to do about it. Not knowing what to do can leave people spinning out emotionally.

Being criticized can be very stressful. Some critiques are par for the course. We all expect to be evaluated from time to time. That doesn’t make it fun, but it does prepare us for feedback. Some criticism comes out of the blue and feels brutal. Whether planned or not, most people hate to be criticized because their emotions take over, it feels very personal, and they aren’t sure what to do with the negative hot potato in their laps.

Knowing that nearly everyone hates criticism can help you take it on the chin and do your best to withstand it, whether you know it’s coming or not.